27.11.2012 - 08h00 - Big friendly giant

Today I'm wearing wedges - they're not even huge wedges but they still have me feeling like the big friendly giant every time I stand next to someone!!

26.11.2012 - 07h30 - Cupcakes

25.11.2012 - 10h00 - Sunday breakfast

Ethan and I have decided that every Sunday he's with me we go out for breakfast. This was a bar-one croissant!! What I love more then this is Sponge Bob's morning face...

24.11.2012 - 17h00 - Park fun

Ethan took this photo - I think it's beautiful!

23.11.2012 - 10h00 - Shoot day 1

I bought this teddy from Game for R40 - it is AMAZINGLY soft and lovely. Found it very hard to give to the little boy.

I bent over to put his little waistcoat on and this beautiful, gorgeous, adorable little boy reached out and stroked my chin...!!!!! That was me - in love!

Thanks for a great day Neil!

22.11.2012 - 21h00 - Work

I'm very busy at work lately so decided to stay late and get stuff done. Worked till 8 - went home - painted a chair... felt like a mature hard worker... and I little sorry for myself :)

21.11.2012 - 14h15 - Brando mad

Thanks to my friend Philip who sent me this link I'm now Marlon Brando crazy. Have been watching youtube videos and even made him my new desktop image... I feel all giggly and 18 again :)

20.11.2012 - 16h18 - Your Baby Cover

This is the new Your Baby cover I did... I'm really happy with how it came out!

19.11.2012 - 15h22 - Ethan's poem

I read Ethan's poem today - I think it's so cute... I love the part about bees making him sneeze

I love South African food
It always suits my mood
In South Africa we are always socialising
And we are always advertising
People in South Africa are always compromising

I love the way South Africa looks
The libraries are always full of books
In South Africa there are lots of different religions
We always make the best decisions
We are world famous for our animals

We have so many trees
I just don't like the bees
They tend to make me sneeze
That is why I love South Africa

19.11.2012 - 08h00 - Hair blah

Saturday I went for a haircut. She cut it SO short. This is the first time I've left the salon trying not to cry. I've decided to grow my hair. Hair. Blah

15.11.2012 - Happy childhood memories

This week has been a total trip down memory lane. First I saw these cabbage patch kids in Toys R Us. I remember how exciting it was getting mine and waiting till I opened the box to see what her name was. 

Then Ethan and I went hunting for cheap buckyballs (don't think they exist) and I came across this twisty worm. I got so excited, bought it and have been playing with it ever since. His name is Willi the worm. Yay!

14.11.2012 - 15h00 - Saying goodbye

Today was my grans memorial. It was very small and intimate and was nice to hear the lovely things people had to say about her. What a beautiful lady xoox

07.11.2012 - 19h00 - No words

This is a long read and there are probably millions of spelling errors but I really needed to write this...

After hearing that my gran had passed on I was really quite upset. Ethan was being amazing and trying his best to make me feel better. I was trying to do a load of washing and he just grabbed my hand - led me to the couch - made me sit down and watch TV. I was actually starting to relax and cheer up a bit. Was thinking how I was going to miss my gran terribly but at least she lived a long, happy life filled with family who loved her....

At around 7-ish Ethan and I heard our neighbour screaming. We turned off the TV and listened. Heard him scream "call the police and an ambulance". When I heard him say police I thought they were getting robbed so I didn't go outside to see what was happening - kept my door closed. Also, if I'm honest I'm the terrible type who stays behind closed doors and tries not to get involved in other people's problems (that has all changed after this night).

For some reason (probably because I had started to really like my neighbours - which doesn't happen often) I decided to go and see what was happening once I heard the security guards walking up the stairs.

His wife had collapsed and was lying on the lounge floor. He was trying to hold her and call an ambulance. He eventually left her side to come and open the security gate for us. I went to her and she complained that she couldn't breathe properly. I lifted her slightly, sat behind her and let her rest against my chest. She was speaking very quietly but I did hear her say was "I'm sorry" which now just breaks my heart.

I am terrible in these situations. Not only do I not know what to do but I also don't know what to say. I just kept telling her "relax", "don't panic", "breathe slowly", "you're going to be fine".

Her husband was a wreck. I suggested we carry her to the car rather then wait for an ambulance. The reason I said this is simply because I know from personal experience that you can wait for ever for an ambulance and I thought it would be quicker if we rushed her to hospital. I am now so worried I made the wrong choice. I have spent hours googling to try and find out if moving her made it even worse. I feel awful.

She was heavy and 3 men (her husband and the two security guards) battled to carry her. They got her down the stairs then had to put her down. Here is where she passed out again. Her eyes rolled back and she was making these terrible sounds. I was holding her again and it seemed like she kept stopping to breathe. Every time she went quite I thought she had died, then would gasp for a breathe and start breathing again.

They picked her up again and got her closer to the car. I held her again on the ground while her husband rushed to open the car and reverse it closer to us. Here is where it got scary. I looked at her and saw her eyes were wide open. I got really happy as I thought this meant she was coming around - was feeling better. But then when I looked closer it was awful, something had shifted. Her eyes were huge, round, black, terrified, not normal. I remember thinking, she thinks she's going to die.

They picked her up and struggled for what felt like and eternity to lift her into the back of the car. At this point she was on her knees while they held her arms. I was standing up and she was staring with those frightening eyes straight at me. I can't describe the feeling.

He said he was rushing her to the medicross clinic just around the corner. Once he drove off Ethan and I jumped into my car to go there. It was closed. We came home. We felt terrible just sitting there so we got back in the car to see if maybe he had driven her to Sandton Clinic - they weren't there. We came back home and I slipped a note under their door asking him to please sms me when he was home to let me know that his wife was ok.

I woke at 5am and saw that someone had sent me an sms saying she had passed away.

I'm a little stunned. I really didn't think she would die. I have been a complete wreck and feel like such a drama queen but I really have never been that close to death. I keep thinking "I should have done the running around with the keys and car etc so her husband could have held her, not me", "I was one of the last people to hold her", "what if my suggestion to move her was a bad one" - lots of thoughts.

I'm feeling much better today but it's still just all so surreal.

Look after yourself people - have fun - enjoy life - kiss those you love - tell those you love that you love them. xoox

07.11.2012 - 17h00 - Going to miss you

My gran passed away on Wednesday. She was such a lovely lady and is going to be missed dearly. xoox

03.11.2012 - 14h00 - Tupperware party

I was handed this drink at the bottle store to try. It gave me heartburn - but I still drank it!

Went to my very first tupperware party. NO - there was no tupperware (a bit worried that everyone actually thinks I would really go to a real tupperware party - am I really THAT boring?!). The girls wouldn't let me take pics of them... have no idea why :)

Thanks for a great afternoon ladies!